Houston, We have a problem.

Did you know that when lady finishes her banana bread from Starbucks there are crumbs at the bottom of the bag? Did you know that my head fits in a Starbucks bag? Did you know my muzzle is not long enough to get to the crumbs in the bottom of a Starbucks bag? Did you know that it's very difficult to breath whilst your head is stuck in a Starbucks bag?

Happy New Year.....and don't stick your nose where it don't belong!

CarRBuNcLE!!!

Now, I don't have too much to brag about when it comes to my shape. I admit I'm carrying around a little extra in the middle - but who isn't? But now my best features are in trouble. A very large lump has been found on my left rear ankle!!! My once perfect thin legs are now marred!. MARRED!

I'm not sure what's causing this coyote ugly but it doesn't hurt and it doesn't limit my mobility. So could it be just a curse for all the bad things I've done? If would stop doing bad things would it go away? Well, I'm sure going to try. I can't be walking around the neighborhood with this "thing" on my ankle. Sheesh.

So here's to living life right!

for a while anyway - then it's a trip to see Dr. Tim to get this thing off!

Hello Gorgeous!

Have you seen the latest cover of Time Magazine? A photograph of the most beautiful beast EVER to walk this green earth. It's like looking in a mirror!!!!

As for the cover story.....Puh LEEEEEZE! What Animals Think? Really. Its THAT important so the editorial staff decided to put it on the cover.........my apologies to Elena Kagan.

What Animals think is simple:
When do I eat again?
Are you leaving for a long time?
Are you EVER coming back?
Can I sleep on the bed/sofa/LazyBoy?
Can I have a bite?
Can I have the whole thing?
Is that grill too hot to lick right now?
Have you seen my tennis ball?
Can I catch that cat?
Is that cat poo tasty?.....let me check...
Is it time for a walk?
Can I sit on your lap?
Will you scratch my tummy?
Why do I have this giant plastic cone around my neck, because I can't reach my bottom right now!
Can I ride in the car?
Can I sit in your lap while I ride in the car?

I'm sorry Time Magazine but you've just taken my blog and made it your own. I think you owe me a small royalty. Please send to Moosie Lynn, small black dog, Earth.

Thanks!

A good week is had by all......

'Tis true! I haven't committed any crimes against man nor beast for a week! I even ASKED to go to bed last night and led Lady to my crate, waited for my cookie and laid down. The big news around here is that Harry got a wading pool. I've included a picture or two for your review.

Of course my work on the back yard continues. As the summer progresses a lot of the grass goes dormant (since Lady and Man don't water the backyard for obvious reasons), so all that's left is "Eco-Lawn".

Eco-Lawn,for those of you not on the cutting edge of grass (hah, pun there!) is a mixed seed of grass and wildflowers that uses little water. Lady has been over seeding my yard for the past few years hoping that I would not like it as much. Lady is wrong. That Eco-Lawn is delish! It has these little violets with broad purple leaves and little pink english daisies. It's like a salad for Dogs, or at least dogs that eat lawns. If I ever happen to leave a few blossoms I'll have Lady take a picture for you. That chances of that happening are fairly slim, so don't hold your breath.

Lady is on her way out to get more seed today. I suppose she won't seed yet, but I'm sure I'll get fresh crop come this fall.

In the meantime... Bring on the Catalina Dressing! I'm going out back!

Mmmmmmmmmmm

Photo Shoot!

As you can see, I really put out for this shoot. I was posing like Victoria's Secret model and just as curvaceous. I really nailed that angry look you see on runway models too. Do not be surprised to see me in print soon!

Oh Sheesh! I am in print! Lady uses my image for one of the ads she produced. I guess I forgot because I never received any compensation. Clearly, I need a lawyer.

GaRBaGe DaY!

Woooooo HOOOOOO! Lady left good stuff in her garbage can under the desk! GOOOOOD STUUUUUUFFFFFF.

That's right, I did it. I tipped over the can and spread the glory all over the den. What did I find? A fruit snack package, a handful of almonds bag from Trader Joes, a napkin which required shredding, half of the gas bill, and some plastic from packaging she got from that big brown truck that stops by.

No food. But that's okay because the trick is to never give up. Even though she has never left food in that bin it doesn't mean it can't happen. Since I am an optimist, by nature, I always look at that bin - or any garbage bin - as "half full", (of food that is....).

Lady, of course, shouted at me "no-NO Moosie Lynn - no NO". But it doesn't work. no-NO never really works, never will. Oh, sure, it works on Harry. He hates to hear "no-NO". He gets all sad eyed and goes to mope on his bed. I just look at her with a smile on my face and my tail a-wagging. I'm a teflon dog. Nothing sticks.

Of course, this could have escalated into full blown punishment, but just like magic The Scottish Lady appeared to take a walk!

Thank Scottish Lady!

Watch this space

It seems Lady has run out of photographs of me. She's thinking of having a photo shoot one of these days to capture my joie d' vive, my essence, my free spirit, if you will.

The trouble with photograph is that I don't show up all the well. When you wear as much black as I do it's hard to see my darling expressions or the way my tail sits straight up. I tend to look like a black hole in the pics.

See the photo at the top of this post? That's not me. That's some fancy stock photo of a glamour dog that looks like me but has employed a talented and well equipped photographer. The little blue bone hanging off his collar is something I would never wear for two simple reasons:

1. I'm micro-chipped and I don't need no stink'in name tag!
2. I chew collars off. All collars -All the time - All my life


I"ve been chewing collars of me and Harry for 6 years. I'm not anti-collar, they just bug me. They bug me so much I can't even bear to see them on Harry, so I chew them off him too. I can do it pretty darn quickly too. It's a gift. I wear a fancy harness/vest when I walk. All that lunging takes it's toll on my windpipe so Lady found this high-tech vest that makes me feel fancy free when I'm out in public. Of course, I can't be off leash due to my poor judgement, but this space-age garment is pretty darn close.

I'll post the new shots as soon as Lady or Girl capture my good side.

Good Luck Ladies! Cheese!

ooooh cheeeeeeeeese.......